Opportunities

Days go by and I stare at my ceiling, waiting for the inspiration to do something.

If there is anything that I have learned during this quarantine, it’s that I am more of a dreamer than an achiever. I often dream of my success, or putting in the work to get to somewhere, instead of actually doing that. I know that it’s a form of “manifesting success,” but it’s not very helpful when you see people out there chasing dreams and getting the satisfaction that they have so long waited for.

I have two friends of mine who have already written books or published something online. And I think it’s time for me to grab my chance and run with it.

It’s weird, honestly. When I imagine “chasing dreams,” I think of something like a robbery being taken place. Maybe it’s because of the eternal racial bias that’s been implanted into my brain, because I am black. But maybe it’s something similar to the concept of Robin Hood, where we are taking our one sliver of opportunity from the oppressive system that’s built against us.

I want my 20’s to be something meaningful, especially when I go and tell my story one day. I want to show an expectation that people should be able to meet as much as possible. I need to get the idea of failure out of my head, no matter how many talks I had to myself about wasting money.

Because you aren’t wasting money on something if you are learning from your mistakes. Now that doesn’t mean to go an make a habit of it, but it means to really go after what you want to go after.

I want to be able to show my talent to the world, to show my voice and words to everyone. I want my platform to be used to raise other’s voices as well. My friends and family know that I care about them, and I want my works to hold that same energy.

But there’s only one problem. I work myself ragged. I don’t have any “me time” anymore, and I’ve already talked about it before. But I think that its okay. Because I’d rather know that I am using my time and effort for something that’s beneficial and can help many.

With my car, I can now go and travel and experience different sites on my own, without the supervision or protectiveness of my parents. And I plan on doing that, at least every two weeks, going somewhere, getting used to traveling, and living life the way I want to live. It’s a goal that I can actually manifest.

Basically, I see many opportunities fly around me. The only question is when do I think it’s my turn to grab it and run with it?

-J.E.