Another Beginning

My final semester of community college was Monday. Well, technically Tuesday, as the school was closed due to the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday. I have some doubts for this semester, to be honest with you all.

Not because of my inability to do anything; if anything I’m more than prepared to handle three English literature classes. But I think the fact that this is going to be another ending and another beginning is coming soon.

I’d be lying to you if I said that I wasn’t used to this lifestyle. I have grown comfortable with my community college career. I boast about all of the ease that University will be, because I’m striving to be the best and seeing what’s next for me, but I fell into the deep tunnel of content. I have this weird illusion that my job as being a professor will be handed to me as soon as I get my Associate’s. Maybe because it’s a finish line that I pile on so many expectations on it. Who knows.

I don’t like liars, which is probably why I don’t like myself. I know that there is more than what is in front of me. But my problem is the more that I imagine, the more superficial it will be in my perception. My fear is that when these events do happen, it’ll be underwhelming and I’ll look at all of my hard work negatively.

I don’t know where this negative mindset came from in terms of viewing progress, but it needs to go ghost as I’ll be there sooner than later, especially the pace I’m going.

Ain’t no rest for the wicked, the saying goes. Makes sense, I don’t sleep much anymore anyways.

-J.E.