I think writing more is helping. I finally sat down and decided to just let my fingers strike at my keys at a rapid succession; whatever noise it makes doesn’t bother me. But hopefully it’ll bother those who want my downfall.

I know that this year can be my year. Honestly, so far it technically is. I’ve been doing pretty good in my self control in how I want to ideally behave, in interpersonal groups and by myself. I’m keeping myself in check, and having only tunnel vision for growth in my mind. I like this feeling, but fighting everyday is so exhausting.

Especially with opening on the weekends. I am thankful that the store owner trusts me enough to allow me to open. It’s a major leap of faith on is end, especially since I started at the coffee shop early December and he’s giving me this responsibility. I don’t plan on letting him down, and I do hope that he does know that.

I think the plans that I’ve made are being shown in form of results. I do feel stronger, I feel more capable. I’ll still second guess myself on things, but I know what I need to focus on this time. Baby steps, baby steps.

I plan on writing more often as I can. I know that with opening, it changes my weekends completely. I have to wake up at 5:30 on Saturdays and Sundays, but I get my work for the day done early, and I have from about 1 to whenever I fall asleep to do whatever I want. I get the major stressor out of my way and I have this room to do what I want. I have time for “plans,” as in I can do something more realistic than usual.

One of the things I like about this coffee shop is how community oriented it is. I have already talked to a few customers that have either access to resources that I would be interested in or they can open my eyes and experiences farther than I can imagine. Now that I have time, I can plan. And once I have a plan, I can act. A simple three-step process. Hasn’t failed me yet, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

So hopefully within the next couple of months, you’ll hear the results of my plans.



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